"You know, this is a disease your daughter could struggle with for the next twenty years." the pediatrician said , hanging his solace face downward.
I stood, horrified at such a suggestion. I was speechless for the first time in my life.
as I walked out of his office a voice inside of me kept saying. "not my daughter. Not Melanie"
The moment we got in the car, I turned to my daughter and said, "He's wrong. This disease is not going to have it's grip on you for twenty years. You are a strong-willed young woman; a fighter.We will both fight this thing together. I will never give up on you."
That was the first time a medical professional had diagnosed Melanie with an eating disorder. There would be several other professionals that would warn us of the long journey ahead.
I didn't want to believe them, and I definitely didn't want my daughter to hear those discouraging words over and over again.
But those caring individuals were only trying to prepare us with insight. They were not giving us false hope. They were not feeding into our denial of the scope and seriousness of Anorexia and Bulimia.
Six years and twenty-seven hospitalizations later, I am ecstatic to be here to tell you that there is, indeed, another side to this disease. There is a way out. There is hope.

The road to recovery

Never give up. The road to recovery can seem like the longest journey you have ever been on. Give praise and encouragement for every step taken.

Self Care

What's important
avoid exhaustion
find yourself a good counselor who's familiar with the illness
take time for deep breathing, walking, relaxation techniques that work for you
read a book that's not about ED
yoga, exercise, listening to music
outings with friends-just for fun-not for talking about ED
set time limits for researching the illness so it doesn't become all consuming

remember who you were before the illness happened-do the things you enjoyed or that brought you peace or laughter (and that you haven't made time for)
If you take care of yourself-you can take care of others

Continuum of Care

some teens with eating disorders will require an intensive level of medical care.
Inpatient hospitalization for medical stability and weight gain can be a first step. This is highly structured 24/7 care and can include the monitoring of vital signs, drawing labs, and providing 3 meals a day and often time snacks. The average length of stay in our state is 1-2 weeks, although it is individualized.

Intensive treatment can also take the form of a 24/7 residential program. Often there are age ranges for these types of programs. These programs offer individual therapy, group therapy and expressive therapy. Meals are monitored. The average time (often directed by the insurance company) is 3-4 weeks. Again, this is dependent on a variety of factors.

Partial hospital programs are usually a step-down from an intensive program. Your teen lives at home, but attends the program for much of the day. Times vary and the teen can have evening meal and night time family routine to practice skills. They will receive individual and group therapy during the day.

getting familiar with how these teens feel

The medical statistics point out that often times, those with Ed have feelings of depression and anxiety.
what my teen and her friends say is that:
they are self-conscious
they feel shameful and guilty
they feel worthless and unlovable
they don't see their body like we see it
they feel like they want to die
they feel like they need to be perfect.

What parents say
they were a bright young student that maintained above-average grades
they were always involved in extra-curricular activities
they had everything going for them
things started to change around puberty

Hey Ed- you've been found out

What to do first depends on the condition of your child. There are several options. Any emergency always requires a call to 911. Just let me say that first.
I scheduled an appointment with my teen's pediatrician. If possible, schedule this appointment with a doctor that specializes in eating disorders. During the physical, it is helpful to ask that blood work be done. It's important to look for several things, including electrolyte imbalance (low potassium) which can lead to sudden cardiac arrest. Liver & kidney damage and several other serious medical conditions can and do result from starvation and purging. This is an extremely dangerous disease and cannot be left untreated.
So, an accurate assessment of your teen's medical condition is a must.
What worked for me, was to schedule the initial appointment as if it was a routine physical. There was no discussion, no negotiating. Her illness didn't want to be found out. It's entirely possible that your teen will resist or even refuse to go to a doctor.

After assessing the severity of your teen's medical condition, a course of treatment will be discussed with you.
Find a therapist that has had experience with treating eating disorders. See if your teen can be honest with you about when the ED behaviors first started, including just thoughts about the ED and distorted body image.
Assessing the onset and longevity of the illness is helpful information for all involved.
An accurate assessment of mind and body will give you a starting point and direction for the next steps.

For family members including parents, siblings, grandparents, extended family and anyone caregiving to a teen with an eating disorder.

This information is for the primary care-givers of a teen with an eating disorder. Whether you are the biological parents, grandparents, step-parent, extended family member or a sibling you probably feel immense responsibility for taking action against this illness. This blog is meant to be a tool to help you navigate through the complex road called Eating Disorder. It is from my experience as "Mom" that this viewpoint is coming from.